A (belated) Christmas Funny

[[SK]agent]

A Software Developers' Version, The 12 Bugs Of Christmas...

1. For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.

2. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

3. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

4. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

5. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

6. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

7. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

8. For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

9. For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

10. For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

11. For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

12. For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Tell them it's a feature
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

Merry Christmas, happy Hanukah, have a great Kwanzaa, seasons greetings, best wishes, happy Yak Shaving Day and good hunting, everyone!

Jeff Polaski
Manager, Web Services
Research & Graduate Studies
University California, Irvine


..an appropriate post, wouldn't ya say? :D

[MattB]

yes that a very appropriate, good read :D

[AccadaccA]

LOL

I just about rolled onto the floor over this line "Tell them it's a feature" :D


Top stuff !! Thanks for the laugh.

[MattB]

hey acca, havent seen ya in awhile, has ur PC problems been sort out or u still having troubles???


l liked the ''change the documentation'' and ''blame it on the hardware'' cause l've had those excuses before.

[Alrik]

ACCA!!!!!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Says nuff :D

[damage.com]

(This isn't as seasonal, and is also *really* old, but still good... :)

The growth stages of a Computer Program

It compiles!
It runs on win 3.1!
It runs on Win 95!
It runs on the network!
It's stopped running on Win 3.1.
It crashes without HIMEM.SYS.
It crashes with HIMEM.SYS.
It crashes the whole network.
It works but the help files crash.
It runs, but mysteriously at half the speed of before.
It sometimes crashes.
It works! But the specs have changed.
It crashes on Win 3.1 with HIMEM.SYS, on Win 95 without.
Kris thinks it works but it turns out she's running OS/2.
It crashes with a printer.
It runs but the printout is garbage.
No luck yet.
Aha! Fixed the printing problem.
It prints, but crashes afterwards.
Almost fixed! Just need to tidy up the help files.
It won't run at all on anything.
Yippee! It runs perfectly on all the machines in the world.
It runs perfectly on all the machines in the world except for the jerk in Tech Support with the customized Aptiva and NT 4.01.
Perfecto! We ship Monday.
It won't compile.

[Kittknight]

Hey damage! That Growth Stages of a Computer Program is funny as heck!!! Especially since my family works with that kind of stuff almost all of the time! Real funny! Kittknight^_^ :D ^_^ :D

[damage.com]

(sings)
99 cases of bugs on the wall, 99 cases of bugs,
Ya take one down, code it around,
103 cases of bugs on the wall....

[Kittknight]

Kittnight (sings) "103 cases of bugs on the wall, 103 cases of bugs! You take one down and code it around-IMMINENT SYSTEM FAILURE!^_^