Whens the right time?

[NFSracer]

I know most of you are parents. And maybe you don't have kids quite my age yet. But i got a question for you all. When do you think it's acceptable for your son to start dating? I'm not sure what my parents would think if i did at my age of 14, going on to 15 in Febuary... The only reason i ask this question is because theres someone whos crazy about me. And i'm not sure when the right time is. I feel comfortable asking these questions to everyone here. I feel like i know all of you. I can trust you all.

[Commander]

This is honestly one of those questions that nobody has the answer to save for yourself. I cannot grant advice on this, because I am neither parent, nor first-time-dater. Only you know how to approach this, and about the only words of wisdom I can offer come from a teacher of mine from some 15 years back: 'Never doubt your first reaction'. With this in mind, I would say go on what you initially felt, and DO NOT question your judgement later on. I guess NIKE kinda hit the same nail when they came up with the slogan "just do it".

[TMiller]

You should be fine. My mom let me date when I was 14(I'm now 16), but if you can't don't sneak it under your parents radar. Being good friends might be best for you, just because your 14 and some girls like to brag about the guy they have. Later after you know more about eachother take the giant step up to being a couple. I'm going to warn you of one thing: If you become boyfriend and girlfriend and she leaves you, you will feel down for a few days. BUT first relationships are a learning experience.

[Baritone Black]

Trial and error may well be all you have. It seems to be moving me in the right direction. I'm 18 now, and seem to have a slightly short history compared to others my age.

I've messed up several times (hey wait, that's every time so far!), and benefitted greatly from the lessons. Your mistakes will serve you well, so long as you remember them and don't make the few that will destroy your life or someone else's. Likely you know what those are, and so long as you avoid them, you'll be fine.

Things will go wrong. It happens. It may be painful and embarassing when it does. Don't let that alone hold you back. There is a lot of risk in entering a relationship with someone, but there is also much to be gained.

If you're scared or nervous, that's normal. If you feel it's not time for you yet, don't rush into things. Without experience, all you'll have to go on is what you feel, which might still be confusing to you (sometimes it is for me, even now). If something feels wrong, DON'T DO IT WITHOUT STOPPING TO THINK FIRST. If you think you're ready, (and only you can be the judge of that,) go at the pace that feels right.

If she's crazy about you, you've got a leg up on me at the moment. ;)

Good luck, Godspeed, and let us know how it goes.

[[SK]Tammy]

It depends on a number of things. How you really feel about yourself, your confidence, your relationship with your parents and your general interests.

You have taken this step to ask people here, which is a good sign that you have that maturity, but maybe a bad sign that you may not feel you can ask your parents.

You also say the girl is crazy about you but you don't say how you feel about her. Do not get pressured by your peers to do things you are not sure or happy about. You will know deep down when the time is right for you. You will start to get feelings for a particular girl, butterflies in the tummy and it will feel right.

The important thing is that whatever you do that you are happy, your parents are happy and it happens naturally - not forced by pressures. If you approach your parents and are mature about it then they should not have a problem and may help guide you in the right direction.

My oldest boy is coming up for 9! :eek: So I guess I have a few years to wait for all this, although I will be teaching my kids the facts of life a lot sooner than that!

Hope that helps

:love:

Tammy

[DC_Targa]

OK, I'm old but don't have kids so this is just conjecture.

You are old enough to date when you are willing to accept full responsibility for your actions. That includes, but is not limited to things that are:

1. Physical
2. Emotional... and
3. Financial

And by that I mean without major help of others ( like parents and friends) having to bail you out.

There are always bumps in the road of life. BB's advice about that is good.

Be prepared to have fun. But also be prepared to work though the ups and downs all relationships have.

And if you need more advice, you can always watch Dr. Phil :)

[D_Man]

I started dating at 12 and haven't stopped :)

At twelve all I could do was go to the Saturday matinee though :rolleyes:

Dave

[Vette Boss]

I think 15 or 16 is an okay age to start dating, but it really depends on the mentality you have about it. I think it's more important that you feel you're ready to date than a certain age really, just when you feel ready.

If I had teenagers, I would want him to have a job before he started dating, because flowers and gifts, etc can get pretty expensive if the relation goes on long enough, girls look-up to a guy who has a job too.

Apply my advice with caution though, since I'm, not too good at giving it. I won't say more. ;)

[nighttraveler]

I really don't know how things work on your house, but i'm almost 14 (december 13) and i started dating long ago, i think since i was 11 or something, and we went to the movies and stuff, you know... I think that if you really want to do it, just go for it and it's very important to evade your parent's oppinion about it, it's your life.

[Wazza]

I was always a rather inexperienced school boy. Always the last for everything..

I held off for many things, and boy I don't look back and wish I had done anything differently.

The first real girlfriend I had was when I was around 14/15. It only lasted a couple of weeks, coz the girl said I didn't have the "PDA" - Public display of affection.. She thought we should be kissing at school and all over the place. That just wasn't me back then.

So I went through all of high school, with no one, although in my final year, I was beginning to be noticed. By the darn girls, 3 years my junior!
I had 3-4 1-2 week partners again, around 18 years old, and finally, got the REAL girlfriend, who I'm currently with now, that I broke all my past barriers on. I was 19..very old, much more mature, and glad I wasn't like most my mates, just getting girls coz they felt they had to. - Can't say too much for my youngest sister...
From seeing how she clowns around at such a young age, I would be a very concerned parent, and not let her out with anyone. (as my dad did for a while)

Just remember, everyone is different. Everyone wants different things. Some just someone to hold, and have friendly chats to. Some even want the adult stuff at 12-13 these days... :nono:
Trust yourself, don't be a follower...lead by your own ways.
Just imagine a couple of years ahead.. will you look back - "oh that was a mistake"...
Or, rather.. "the day I grew up, old enough for everything"


:Peace:

[Vette Boss]

Sounds like good advice Wazza. With help like that, he'll be on the right path. -^

[Bage]

Good luck m8
U will be fine whatever u decide.

Im 41 by now and when I look back i can't say
that i regret anything i have done in my life.
If i regret something it's the things i didn't do.
Not much of an advice, i know.
Follow your heart and it will turn out fine :)

/bage

[chris]

Dating at your age should be no problem.. As long as it is just dating, and not the more serious stuff.

[FeZ]

Originally posted by NFSracer
... because theres someone whos crazy about me.


First you better dont listen to any advice from me, believe me it will turn out a mess, judgeing by my experiences from back when I was a 14 year old kid :)

I also do understand that the whole concept and ritual of dating is a bit different in the new and the old world so what would I know ^_^

But if your quote above is true then what is stoping you ?
I think getting somebody interested enough to consider going out with one is the hardest part, and it looks like you can skip that one altogether.

[Radical-Al]

I think the "right" age for dating is middle 16-17

I am "dating" a girl right now whom I met on the internet but I haven't met her yet, but we've talked on the phone and have exchanged some letters.

As far as advice goes from me, I kinda only give advice first person or have to be talking first hand not like this 3rd person or delayed way.

[NFSracer]

Well the problem is i just don't know how to talk to my parents about it. I actually have 2 girls that want to go out with me, just my luck huh? Niether of them go to the same school as me but they both go to the same school. The one i've known for more than 7 years. The other i've known for 1 year. The one who is absolutly crazy for me i've known for 1 year through volenteer work. The other i went to school with from grade 2 to 8. I've always been behind though. Lots of the kids at my school started dating at around 11 or so. Heck we had some that were 8 or 9 years old dating! That freaked me out. I just have trouble confronting my parents with such a serious matter...

[Baritone Black]

Two girls? I've been in that situation before many times, and without fail, I have ALWAYS chosen the wrong one. Best of luck to you there.

I never could speak to my parents about anything like this either. In my case, I just left them in the dark for a few years, until one of my more obnoxious (ex) girlriends made it obvious. I still can't talk to them about anything personal. There are several people I feel comforatble and open with, but my parents are not on the list.

Follow my earlier advice, but whatever you do, don't follow my example.

[Radical-Al]

whatever you do, never talk to your parents about it, or if you do, give them only the barebones of it, or keep it extremely simple.

In my opinion (which doesn't account for much anyway) you should first consider the girl whom you've known for 7 years as a first canidate because of the fact you've known her the longest. Try to "be" more than just friends or talk about it (if possible). Then if you are finding (if your even in the least bit caring if you "need" to date now or if its that important to you [because of peer pressure]) things not working out and you will never get past the "friendship stage" of the girl whom you've known for 7 years then try directing your attention to the other girl who you have known for a year a bit more. WHATEVER you do, take it slow, all those kids that start as you say 8-11, it won't last long anyway, because of the immaturity factor that they have and will just be their history, a kiddie relationship as you say, reason why I (and some others) say 16-18 is because your more aware of things, more mature (in maturity level/age) and are more knowledgeable about the realm of dating and relationships (real one, not little kiddie ones that the kids can brag to their friends about as I said above).

To shorten it up, first focus your attention and try first with the girl you've known for 7 years, see if you can work out a relationship and be more than just friends, then if that is going slow or not working out as you like it (or both of you), then focus your attention on the other girl a bit more and make her "see" that you are showing attention to her, but don't just leap into a relationship (if you care about one anyway) and go for sex, have the commitment, love, caring that goes along with it, if you have those 3 things (and others I forgot to mention) then the sex will come with it anyway.

Like I said, I have just started a relationship, but I do know a thing or two from what I've learned from other people, internet, or just stories I've heard.

Hope that helps you a bit more :) if not, just over look it and it will be history ;)

any questions, pm me or something

PS- your young (you know you are, admit it) so take it slow and don't get serious yet, and get practice, if either these girls don't work out, no sweat, there is always the future and you have at least 2 or 3 years until you have anything really to worry about, be patient, be slow, make the right decisions to keep from making mistakes, ask for help if you need it, and be who you are (that is very important, don't be someone your not, just get you a deep hole or get you in a corner)